Around the world this month, LGBTQI+ communities and our allies will celebrate the progress we’ve made — fighting not only to live as equals alongside our cis-gendered, heterosexual brothers and sisters, but for our very right to exist. And as these rights are under attack — especially in your country — I feel Pride Month has never been more important. That’s why I’m writing you from Thailand right now: to share my own story of joy, pain and progress.
My name is Chawinroj Terapachalaphon, but you can call me Ong. I am a Thai lawyer and activist; I have been working closely with AJWS partner organizations in the struggle for LGBTQI+ rights for decades. Last year, thanks to the tireless struggles of these organizations and others, marriage equality was legalized in Thailand. And I am thrilled to tell you — on February 14, 2025 (yes, Valentine’s Day!), my longtime, partner, Nueng, finally became my husband.
Our journey to the altar was not easy.
I was born into a Chinese-Thai family in Phuket, southern Thailand. At this time, the most visible representation of LGBTQI+ people in Thailand was transgender women — called “kathoey” in Thai — dancing in cabaret shows for tourists. Being gay meant you had to hide who you were; society simply would not accept you. Nor would my deeply traditional family. Marriage was for a man and a woman to have children and honor our ancestors. Coming out felt impossible.
I left Phuket for the more liberal Bangkok to study and met Nueng in 2004. We weren’t thinking about marriage back then — we just wanted to take care of each other. A gay friend’s emergency opened my eyes. After an accident, he needed surgery — but the hospital required consent of a spouse or family member. He was far from home, just like Nueng and I. We wondered: What if something like that happened to us? Why didn’t Nueng — my life-partner — count as family in the eyes of Thailand? When my father died years later, we had to tell the community elders preparing his body that Nueng was an “adopted son” so he could participate in the family funeral ritual. My heart broke again and again.
In 2013, a lesbian couple challenged these laws, making headlines for attempting to get married in a Bangkok district office on Valentine’s Day. They failed, of course, but they lit a fire in our movement.
I studied law and wrote my thesis on the legal steps needed for marriage equality in Thailand. In my research, I connected with many activists and LGBTQI+ rights organizations — including several AJWS partners. I worked closely with one of AJWS’s In-Country Colleagues, Tang, who was a leader of this growing movement. My thesis wasn’t just theory — it was about my life, my partner’s life. And slowly but surely, support for our cause grew. We fought to change public opinion as well as the laws — and last year, finally, we succeeded.
On the day of parliament’s vote, I held the actual legal code in my hands and read Section 1448, which now states marriage is between “two people” instead of “a man and a woman.” I read that line over and over — tears fell from my eyes. Finally, we could marry equally.
In February, after 21 years together, Nueng and I registered for a marriage license — in the same office as that lesbian couple, exactly 12 years later. We registered alongside heterosexual couples to show Thailand and the world that we are just like any married couple — all we ask for is equal legal protection and fair treatment. Marriage equality doesn’t harm society. It helps us embrace diversity and help Thailand become a happier place.
This immense progress is the result of years of work of lawyers, activists, LGBTQI+ people and our allies. And that means you! As an AJWS ally or supporter, you are part of our movement. I hope you feel proud of what we’ve accomplished together. You’ve helped change lives here in Thailand — my life included.
But our work isn’t over. Thai laws on surrogacy, for one example, still excludes same-sex couples. AJWS partners here in Thailand will not quit until full equality is achieved. During Pride month and beyond, we will continue to celebrate our progress — and push for the rights we deserve.
Thank you for standing with us. If you wish to show support for AJWS during Pride Month, please know your generosity is felt, deeply, here in Thailand.
