Krishna Kandar grew up in a tiny village, Maharajganj, in the rural Sunderbans region of West Bengal. She was raised within an extended family of 16 — aunts, uncles, cousins and her nuclear family, all living in one compound. From her earliest memories, Krishna understood that in her community, being born a girl was seen as a curse. Her father, a fisherman, and his brothers would regularly beat and abuse the women of the family.
“I grew up in an environment of pure violence. My father, my brothers, my uncles… if they didn’t get their way, they’d resort to violence,” she remembers. “And that included having a daughter. My mother was punished for giving birth to me.”
Krishna was just a child when Thoughtshop Foundation established one of their Youth Resource Cells in her village — a peer-led support group for young people to learn about their rights and break the cycles of gender inequality and violence that trapped them. The day after Krishna’s 10th birthday, her mother boldly brought her to a YRC meeting; it was the best birthday present she’d ever received.
“For the first time, I was able to share my pain with others. Everyone sat with their arms around me,” she says. “They told me: We are with you. We are all in this struggle. I’d never felt so supported.”
By using Thoughtshop Foundation’s collection of over 100 games, cards and exercises meant to explore taboo topics, Krishna’s world expanded: “I’d seen this violence in my family, but through the Thoughtshop activities, I realized it’s happening all over.”
Slowly but surely, Krishna gained the skills to create change in her family — and bravely, miraculously, engaged her father and brothers to abandon domestic violence.
Her mother says, “I’ve gone days without eating. I’ve been beaten black and blue by every man in our family. But Krishna was relentless. One by one, she transformed our family. And she has made me a stronger woman.”
By age 13, Krishna joined a training to become a mentor herself. Today, at 19, she leads a Youth Resource Cell in Maharajganj, where she influences other young girls to follow in her footsteps.
“Men see us as weak, incapable, unintelligent. But I say this: look at us as human beings, and strip away these ideas that have been passed down to you, and you’ll see who we really are. We are your equal.”
Krishna sees her role in the Youth Resource Cell not as a duty, but as a continuum. “I’m no hero,” says Krishna. “I’m just repeating a cycle of healing — the gift that was given to me by Thoughtshop, I am now giving to other girls.”